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Transformers: Crude and Fallen June 30, 2009

Posted by Realitybypass in Critiquing, Movies.

After several weeks of insanity it seems like we’re pretty much getting back into the swing of things, so that means returning to our lovely fans in cyberspace. YAY.

Last night I went and saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I walked out of the theater in a huff and sudden understanding of why the movie is getting around a 21% on the tomatometer at Rotten Tomatoes. Now, before anyone points fingers to say that I just don’t understand know that I am a big fan of the Transformers. I very much enjoyed the first movie. I watched the animated cartoon. I read comic books. I’ve seen the animated movie and I had the toys! I ever wrote Transformers fanfic, and if that doesn’t make me a fangirl I’m not sure what does. So trust me when I say I WANTED this to rock. I wanted this to be as good as Star Trek was, as the first one was…and I was sorely disappointed.

My points of contention:

1: Potty humor. I did not go to this movie to see dogs and tiny robots humping each other and people’s legs. I did not need to see the thong worn by a less than attractive man. I did not need the ‘twins’ gangster thing at all. I did not need the robot testicle jokes. and on and on. Most of the movie was full of things a 15 year old boy finds funny. Maybe they thought that was the target audience.

2: Unnecessary and unconvincing love plot. The Sam/Mikela moments didn’t work for me. I didn’t believe the chemistry, lack there of, or the motivations. Flat flat flat and TOO much movie time spent on it. It’s a Transformers movie, not a romantic comedy.

3: No character development and too many new characters. So many new bots got introduced that you didn’t even mourn them when they got blown up because no great loss. At times it was difficult to tell who was beating on who, and as a fangirl I can usually tell you by name who’s doing what. And the characters were not well connected. Big things happen, things which should be emotionally powerful happen and everyone stands there woodenly and goes…erm…oh… The friendships and connection just wasn’t there. Characters were mock ups, without any significant punch. Even Optimus lacked in these ways, though I think he was the closest to having it together.

4: Shaky cam. Who decided that making you want to barf was a good way to shoot a movie? Please direct me at them so I can hurt them.

5: Weird plotting in both subject and pace. There were at least two fairly decent plots in this movie, neither of which was fully played out and the climax was very anticlimatic. Couple of things go boom in about 30 seconds and the whole plot is solved. Sheesh.

The few things I liked:

1: The soundtrack. Some really nice orchestral themes here, particularly for Optimus Prime.

2: Peter Cullen voicing Optimus Prime. That’s a voice from my childhood and it just wouldn’t be right without him.

3: The early fight scenes. There were a couple of really good ones early on. The last one was just a mash of explosions and insanity.

4: Jetfire. He brought back old memories and even though he wasn’t the Jetfire I remember, he had the closest thing to a personality on the screen.

5: Megatron and StarScream snark. Hah…grumping at each other again.

So there you have it. I won’t own this one. I don’t wanna see it again, and unless the next one is highly cleaned up and given purpose…I won’t see it either.




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